If you planted your heart, what would it grow?

I'm off!

2010-09-27T21:53:00.001-07:00

Hey friends,

So, I have come to the end of my time in Korea, and thought to give a heads up about what is next. Tomorrow I'm headed to a persimmon farm in Busan for a week, and afterward I'll be visiting friends around the country/hiking/sightseeing.

After that, on Oct. 19, I'm off to India! I'm volunteering with an amazing NGO in Mumbai: http://www.thankindia.org/.

Then, traveling with one of my best friends, Leah, up through the country to her sister's wedding in New Delhi.

After that, I'm visiting another dear friend of mine, who is doing Peace Corps in Mozambique. We will travel up the coast and visit a few incredible beaches, until we reach Mandy's site in Qualimane.

After that, I'm off to Syria for Christmas, to spend with Ben and Amber, and my new baby niece and brililant little nephew! I can't wait.

So, the next few months I'll be traveling about seeing good friends/volunteering. I'm obviously terrible at blogging, but I'll post a few pics on facebook from my last few months in Korea, and I'll post more pics after my trip. Thanks everyone for your support and prayers for this next step of adventure and discovery.

Peace,
Rochelle

Oh, p.s. I recently chopped of fmy hair, its just a few inches long; mostly for the convenience of travel. I'll post a pic if I have time :)

Picking Potatoes!

2010-09-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

We went potato pickin' with the Kindergarten class a few months ago...had a great time!

On the Upswing...

2010-01-26T06:46:00.000-08:00

Loved ones!

That last entry was rough, eh? I should tell you that things have gotten significantly better. And thank you for all your letters/notes of encouragement. Perhaps hitting that kind of low is normal...and everyone seems to deal with it in their own way. Esp. here in Korea. Frustration can manifest itself in so many ways. I grew disillusioned with my way of life, my habits, my vocation, my relationships. It was a strange and unfortunate rut to get stuck in. Wasn't appreciative of anything around me. Chose not to see the beauty in simple things. Like a child's rare perceptiveness to the world around them. Or a loving exchange between two people. Or unexpected compassion from people in positions of authority. Or bubble baths with a good novel. Or a friend's candid sense of humor. I am learning how to laugh more...how to find passion and trust in this new and strange world outside of the communities I was once so comforted by.

Yesterday I began training for a half-marathon. Race day is April 3rd. It's nice to have a goal. Also, taking a big snowboarding trip in early Feb. with some friends. Snowboarding, for me, is the absolute best natural high. Can't wait.

Also, just confirmed vacation dates with the boss, and I'll be back in the US for 10 days in July!! Woooop! That's another nice thing to look forward to.

For now, I'm a much happier, sane person, taking life one day at a time and doing my best to stay motivated and passionate. Rather than continually thinking about what's NEXT, I really am trying to be present and appreciative.

Keep a look-out for my snowboarding pics in a few weeks!

Love,
Rochelle

A New Years to Remember.......

2010-01-03T04:04:00.000-08:00

Ok folks, I'm going to be honest. My time in Korea hasn't exactly been peachy keen during the past month-and-a-half. I caught the infectious boredom disease, which spiraled into minor depression, which resulted in never laughing and constantly feeling sorry for myself. A journal entry, to paint the picture:

"I have hit rock bottom. I feel ill, I can't breathe, think or communicate. My world has gone to shit. I've never been so unhappy, so unsure of myself, so lonely, so unfulfilled.

Perhaps I can look back on this and truly think to myself, 'it was worth it...because I made it worth it...' But right now being here seems like the biggest mistake I've ever made. I'm not sure how it propels me further into my goals and dreams. I can't see how it enhances personal growth. Depression is seemingly inevitable. Going from the busiest, most stimulating time in my life, to the most unfulfilling, broken, uninteresting times in life.

I KNOW I'm being pessimistic. I KNOW things will get better. I'm just generally really really sad and unfulfilled these days. Last week I hit a low that I didn't think was possible. Perhaps things will get worse before they get better. Whatever happens, I really do feel like I'm in mourning--the loss of a deep, intense relationship, re-location to an unfamiliar place, a weak social life, forced frugality (since, of course, that's why I came here in the first place), and non-existent spiritual life, and a lack of motivation I've never experienced. For the first time the thought crossed my mind to LEAVE. Go back to LA. Move to Egypt. Peace Corps. MCC. Canvass. Something. "Travel is like setting the reset button" wrote John, a travel writer while in Morocco.

Maybe reset button is being pressed, too. But at the moment, I actually strongly dislike my life here in Ulsan, South Korea. "

[end]

Whoa. So, that was the beginning of December. Before I discovered an organization called WWOOF--World Wide Opportunities On Organic Farms. Check it out: www.wwoof.org

I just spent the past four days with a Korean couple living in rural Pusan, at their herb garden. The following is my account of the experience:

Day 1, Dec 31, almost midnight...

It began with a bus ride to Pusan--asleep the whole way. Then a subway trip half awake, then a bus trip up the hill to Dungi Medical Center, my host mom's hospital; she's a nurse. She gave me a tour-rehibilitation center, a few co-workers. She's been at the hospital for 20 years. After the hospital we went to City Hall where we met her husband. As we saw him approach, she said "my husband has brain like a baby." Heh. She and I walked arm in arm all the way to the car. "Choooua!" (Cold!) We then drove up the side of a mountain and saw the most gorgeous panaramic view of Pusan. Captivating--it absolutely took my breath away...that or the harsh winds. After, we went out for sahsimi with mom's ENTIRE family--g-pa, sister, niece, BABY. That was a nice touch. Our meal was complete with oyseter, clam, raw every-other-kind-of-fish. Kimchi, Kimbap, fish soup. Whew! And loads of red pepper paste. The whole time I kept telling myself "strong stomach...strong stomach." It worked. Was apprehensive since two days ago I had the stomach flu. After dinner we drove through town, all the way to the outskirts of the MASSIVE indoor herb garden. First thing we do: take a 30 minute rest in their traditional hand-made Korean hut. Papa built it in three days. Naturally heated floor, made of a yellow-ish sand material. Me and mom shared stories about our siblings over a few clementines. She says they usually have their friends over in it and share stories late into the evening, over soju and then all fall asleep. Mom is a super nurturing, mellow woman. Dad is a retired IRS agent, who enjoys laughing and using his limited broken English. They are a fabulous pair. Their home is LARGE. Huge open living room with a flat screen and enormous chandellier. Artifacts from all over Asia hang from the walls and adorn every surface, in a classy way. One has to wonder, how on a nurse and IRS agent's salary they can afford it...perhaps cause its in a rural area. I am sleeping in the guest bed, whilst (I never use that word haha) they've taken the hut outside. Tomorrow we're going on a 6am hike! Heaven help me...with my sleeping habits, this will be interesting. I FINALLY feel like I can breathe. Smile. Think normal thoughts. Be challenged--my perceptions of Korea and Koreans changes with every interaction, every exchange, and its good for me. For while there I was becoming quite the xenophobic ass.

May the next three days be educational, fulfilling and bring new perspective.

I am thankful. So thankful, I started tearing up in the car as we were comind down off the mountain. The Creator picked me up and dusted me off in my time of need. Once again.

Happy New Year! 2010!

Day 2--Jan 1

She's an aquarius; he's cancer. Found that out on our hike up to an observatory to ring in the new year. Today:
-Woke up 6am
-Drove in the dark to a mountain where hundreds of people already began their hike
-Got to the top and watched the sunrise and the release of hundreds of balloons. Epic.
-Restaraunt-traditional New Year's soup
-Jim Jil Bong (public bath). Ang-do exfoliated me...just like the other mothers I've seen do to their daughters. I felt so special and pampered. Ang-do is tough as nails, that woman. Switching between scaulding hot water to ice-cold freezing water. I woulda passed out.
-After JJB went home and slept for 2 hours in the "natural hut." Was incredible.
-Woke up. Wandered the garden and took pictures.
-Then we cooked. Fried eggs, cheese slices, beets, apples, almonds, makali (rice wine), date tea, pastries, and hommade kimchi with rosemary from the garden...a nice touch to the otherwise spicy fermented taste.
-After eating , we took a LONG bus ride to the city--Po Dong (?) and walked hand in hand through the massive bazaar eating street food, and caught a view of the fish market (which promptly helped me decide that as soon as I step foot out of Korea I'm going from pesci to veggi. No ifs, ands, or buts about it). Ang-do bought me lepard patterned leggings...my new favorite article of clothing.
-We saw Sherlock Holmes. Not bad.
-Then we caught a taxi to the subway station where me and Ang-do salsa danced as we waited for the tram. Tee Hee.

I'm spent.

Ang-do was complaining about the shape of her eyes...saying mine were "big!" and hers were "small!" So we switched eyes, and here is the outcome.

Day 3, Jan 2

Sitting with the bro (Ang-do's nephew came for a visit), watching Korean sitcomns. For some reason, I've got this massive headache. Altitude changes, perhpaps. Tonight is my last night here...I will miss them. I'm not ready to go back. This truly is the life I want...simple pleasures like persimmon tea and roasted sweet potatoes. Pleasures like waking up to smiling faces enjoying a meal together. Like harvesting veggies and eating it in our meal 20 minutes later. Like taking naps in hand-constructed huts and going to public baths and being laughed at for my squemishness in the cold tub. Like being put in situations where adaptibility is required. Like hiking up mountains and enjoying chinese tea at the top. And sipping hommade brewed wine. Like mending the herb garden.

Today we went on a hike again to a Buddhist Temple, Un Ha Sa. We went to the public bath again, soooo nice. And went to Ang-do's friends' restaraunt for bimibap (rice and veggie dish)...best I've had in Korea...until Ang-do decided to sprinkle tiny silver anchovies all over my dish as a garnish :-)

This weekend was everything I've needed and more.

Goodnight and much love from Ulsan,

Rochelle

Recent Happenings

2009-11-27T03:36:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was bored teaching the same old material to one of my higher level classes. So I said, "okay, today is open discussion...I want your opinion on Korean politics and social life." It was SO SO interesting. These kids (middle schoolers) know way more about these things than I ever did at their age. They discussed past and current leaders, social issues, and the dichotomy between North and South Korea. Things like, if N. and S. Korea united, everyone would end up having less material wealth, since S.K. now has more than N.K. And that they were excited about Obama's recent tour throughout Asia, promoting a "nuclear-free world." We talked about North Korean refugees in China, and their plight. We talked about the philosophy of education in Korea...and the pressure they are constantly under. The fact that it is a law to learn English in the public schools upsets them; they don't understand why it has to be mandetory. We talked about the history of Korea...the Japanese invasion, and its cultural economic effects.

I learned a lot from them yesterday. It made my week!

Tomorrow I'm going to Busan...a little solo trip. I feel like getting lost somewhere. I've been guided SO much since I've been here (which I am SO thankful for...), but it would be nice to try a little adventure on my own for once. I'm going to the park across the street in the morning to read a bit, then hopping on the bus to Busan where I'll visit a cool historic temple and go to Korea's most famous fish market. Will post pics soon!

I've officially gone vegg-o. BUT...I still eat fish. So, I'm not technically...I'll let you know the name for what I am when I find out. And I have a confession. Two days ago I ate chicken. We were having a little "level-up" party in one of my classes, and one of my most ADORABLE students, Moses, 8 years old, with his button nose and glasses sliding down, and a massive grin, shoved a popcorn chicken piece into my mouth. "Teacher!! Eat!!" How to refuse such an offer??

Time here is flying by. It's looking like it's going to be a good year.

Tonight I'm going to eat dinner on my roof with a view of Ulsan's ferris wheel and decadent motels. :-)

Happy Friday!

Misery on the Menu

2009-11-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been thinking about consumption. Meat consumption. And for some reason, only recently, I have grown uncomfortable with the amount of meat I consume here in Korea. We have been out to quite a few delicious restaurants which serve an abundance of pork, chicken and fish products. Last week we went out for Korean BBQ. And it was delicious. Yet, I had a moment I've never had before, a moment of disgust and guilt. I've heard about the meat industry's connection to global warming. I've heard about the animal cruelty that takes place in the modern meat industry. I've met many many people in my sociology and global studies cohorts in college who went vegg-o for their own various reasons. It never appealed to me. At all.

But for the first time last week, it felt absolutely unnatural to eat meat. This could be for a number of reasons. Perhaps I'm on overload. Another night we went out for "chicken soup" and were served our very own cornish game hens, boiling in a pot of onion broth.

I was heavily involved in an environmental organization before coming to Korea, and learned a bit about global warming and the threat to our earth's well-being. With this awareness, it is difficult to consume meat and dairy products knowing how it contributes to the fate of our planet.

I haven't decided to become vegetarian yet, but here a few things I've been reading and I think they are worth mentioning:

The Case for Vegarianism:

UNESCO reported that each day about 40,000 children die because of hunger or lack of nutrition. Meanwhile, corn and wheat are largely grown to feed livestock (cows, pigs, chickens, etc.) or to produce alcohol. Over 80 percent of corn and over 95 percent of oats produced in the United States are for feeding livestock. The world’s cattle alone consume a quantity of food equivalent to the caloric needs of 8.7 billion people, more than the en-tire human population on earth. Eating meat and drinking alcohol with mind- fulness, we will realize that we are eating the ﬂesh of our own children.

Climate change:
The livestock sector has major impacts on the atmosphere and cli- mate. It is responsible for “18 percent of green- house gas emissions measured in carbon dioxide equivalent, which is a higher share than transport.” This means that raising animals for food generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world combined.

About global warming, Thay recounted to Times Magazine the story about the couple who ate their son’s ﬂesh—the story told by the Buddha in the Son’s Flesh Sutra. This cou- ple, with their little child, on their way seek- ing asylum had to cross the desert. Due to a lack of geographical knowledge, they ran out of food, while they were only half way through the desert. They realized that all three of them would die in the desert, and they had no hope to get to the country on the
other end of the desert to seek asylum. Finally, they made the decision to kill their little son. Each day they ate a small morsel of his ﬂesh, in order to have enough energy to move on, and they carried the rest of their son’s ﬂesh on their shoulders, so that it could continue to dry in the sun. Each time when they ﬁnished eating a morsel of their son’s ﬂesh, the couple looked at each other and asked:

“Where is our beloved child now?” Having told this tragic story, the Buddha looked at the monks and asked: “Do you think that this couple was happy to eat their son’s ﬂesh?” “No, World Honored One. The couple suffered when they had to eat their son’s ﬂesh,” the monks answered. The Buddha taught: “Dear friends, we have to practice eating in such a way that we can retain compassion in our hearts. We have to eat in mindfulness. If not, we may be eating the ﬂesh of our own children.” is on a massive scale and its potential contribution to their solution is equally large. The impact is so significant that it needs to be addressed with urgency” (page XX).

Land degradation:
Presently, livestock production accounts for 70 percent of all agricultural land and 30 percent of the land surface of the planet. Forests are cleared to create new pastures, and it is a major driver of deforestation.

As a spiritual family and a human family, we can all help avert global warming with the practice of mindful eating. Going vegetarian may be the most effective way to ﬁght global warming.

This is the practice of the
ﬁve remembrances:
1) I will have to grow old;
2) I will have to get sick;
3) I will have to die;
4) One day I will have to lose the things I cher-
ish today, and the people I love today;
5) When my body disintegrates, I cannot bring
anything with me except my actions of body,
speech and mind—they are the only inherit-
ance that I can bring with me.
When we can practice accepting these
truths in this way, we will have peace, and we
will have the capacity to live healthy and
compassionately—no longer causing suffer-
ing to ourselves and to others.

FIVE FOOD CONTEMPLATIONS
by Thich Nhat Hanh
Here below are our Five Contemplations recited
before meals:
1. This food is the gift of the whole universe—the
earth; the sky; numerous living beings; and
much hard, loving work;
2. May we eat and live in mindfulness so as to be
worth to receive this food;
3. May we recognize and transform our unwhole-
some mental formations, especially our greed,
and learn to eat with moderation;
4. May we keep our compassion alive by eating in
such a way that we reduce the suffering of living
beings; preserve our planet; and reverse the pro-
cess of global warming;
5. We accept this food in order to nourish our
brotherhood and sisterhood; build our Sangha;
and nourish our ideal of serving living beings.

A few photos of the good times :-)

2009-11-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

This, my friends, is Ulsan. A place of vibrant fall colors, beaming friendly Koreans, outdoor gyms, parks and hiking trails. And lots of kimchi :-)

This is my place. I'm getting settled in, slowly slowly.

We went out to Busan for my birthday and met up with a few college friends. Good times.

And had a little Halloween celebration at work...the one in the pink wig is my boss, Julia. She's such a hoot.

Me and Jennifer, one of the Korean teachers. A real nice gal. Hilarious costume too.

Us with the kindergarden class. They all got dressed up and we made a haunted house for them. We hid in the dark as ghosts and spooked them, and almost every single kid cried. Honestly, the h.h. was scary even for adults. I would've peed my pants.

Have been having a great time, although sometimes a bit lonely living alone...still getting used to that aspect. We have been keeping busy, though! Going to all kinds of incredible Korean restaurants--eating plenty of SPICY pork, noodles, and loads of side dishes. Real good food here. And quite healthy. Have been to Ulsan Grand Park a few times, a basketball game last night, a Halloween celebration at a local pub with live music, hip hop dance class. Lots of great things to get involved in. And when I come home after school its so relaxing--take a bath, read, cook, watch movies. Now I just gotta get started on learning Korean. There are a few good podcasts out there...will have to give that a go.

That's it for now.

Much love from the R.O.K,
Rochelle

And Here We Are....

2009-10-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

I just got back from dinner with the other foreign teachers, all British and South African. It was a hoot meeting them for the first time...I was all jet-lagging and delusional, so it was a struggle understanding their thick accents. I'm now getting used to it...so much so that I'll probably come back with a bit of an English twang to my speech.

So I arrived only two days ago, and stayed with a couple teaching at BO2 (my school). They were the only folks with a spare bedroom, and so I bunked up with them for the first night, while the teacher I'm replacing moved out of her apt. It was nice to stay with the the first night, just to be in good company before moving into a place ALONE for a year. Literally moments after I walked in the door James poured me a shot of soju. I knew it would only be good times from then on...

We all hung out at their place for a few hours, then went out to watch fireworks in Busan and eat dinner with the manager and other staff. It was great getting to know them a bit, even though I was beat. Julia is my manager, and a HOOOOT. She is just wild. Laughs at everything, extremely energetic, lively and talkative. She loves to sing and skip. I'll be taking her in small doses...just to keep things sustainable.

Something quite impressive: the Korean gov't requires recycling and composting. Literally, when you take out the trash, you seperate food scraps from plastic, from paper, from glass, and metals. They've got it goin on, in a very green kind of way. One of my old college profs tells me that Korea has had one of the largest re-forestation projects world-wide...and have had exquisite results. I have yet to experience to beautiful nature of SK...in due time.

My school is only a five minute walk from my apartment. Very convenient. And Ulsan really isn't very big, so it is a breeze taking taxis around from place to place. I'm not sure when I'll get up to Seoul, but soon enough.

Oh my, hobbies are out of control here. Other teachers are soo involved. Korean hip-hop classes, tae-kwan-do, soccer teams, basketball teams, spas, swimming, jogging, hiking, etc etc. Koreans know how to do recreation. Work hard play hard mentality, I think.

Welp, that's about it, I'm losing steam. I'm gonna make a cup of herbal tea and pop in a movie...chocolat sounds nice.

Honestly can't say I miss the US at this point...maybe cause living in LA was almost like being overseas much of the time. Esp. working in Korea town! If there is one thing I miss, it is communal living. Maybe this is supposed to be a year of solitude, a time to find inner quiet and peace while living alone. Who knows...

Contact Info

2009-10-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

Yo, this just in...my address to send stuff in K-O-R-E-A:

BO2 English Institute
2nd Fl. #1546-12 Sansam-dong,
Nam-gu, Ulsan, Korea

Love!

Korea? Korea!

2009-10-15T00:28:00.001-07:00

I'm at my computer the night before departure to Ulsan, South Korea. I must say, I'm quite excited. I suppose blogs are supposed to be "updates" on one's adventure...their feelings, thoughts, experiences, pictures, vids, etc. I can't promise consistency on this thing, but I'll do my best...

Mostly I'm excited to venture out on my OWN for the first time in life, to experience a new place, culture, language and people. Honestly I did not imagine myself going overseas so soon after graduation, but I think it is a great fit for me during this next season of life. The past few months have been great being in LA, canvassing for a great cause (albeit a rather conflict-filled experience), living with baba, hanging out with good, solid friends. But life is beckoning in yet another direction, further east, and it beckons with excitement and anticipation.

Until next time...

2008-11-29T10:42:00.000-08:00

Hey beautiful friends and family,

It has been far too long, I know! Right now I am sitting in my flat in Agouza, Cairo, and just finished my paper on comparing Turkey and Egypt. The next one I am about to work on is about Eastern Christianity. The one after that is about the Arab/Israeli conflict. And a couple more, but I'll spare you the details!

So we just got back from our "travel component" part of the semester a few days ago. We were started out by flying into Istanbul, Turkey. It was a STARK change from Cairo. A little chunk from my Turkey/Egypt paper to help describe the differences:

Picture for a moment walking the streets of downtown Cairo. While walking around, you hear the call to noon prayer, echoing above the sounds of honking horns and men selling goods on the street. Imagine an over-populated, polluted city, dusty from the sand blown in from the desert. Some men and women (probably from Upper Egypt) are wearing gullabeyas. The large majority of women are wearing headscarfs, brightly colored and usually fashioned to match the rest of their outfits. Less traditional men are wearing slacks and button-down shirts. You look over to discover a taxi driver reading the Quran as he sits waiting in traffic. On the corner you see a church, where a Mosque is built directly across the street from it. Men are hurrying to noon prayer, with their prayer mats tucked under their arms. You enter the train station and see the southeast corner filled with men bowing for prayer, facing the direction of Mecca.

Now place yourself in Istanbul, Turkey. You look around and see a thriving city filled with confident, young, stylish people. No one is carrying a prayer mat. Almost all the women are not wearing a headscarf, but rather sporting stylish modern haircuts. The pollution is minimal; the air is clean and crisp. You see the Blue Mosque in all its splendor, with tourists entering and exiting in a constant stream. The Turkish flag is sported on bridges, streetlights and balconies of homes. You begin to think you are in Europe until the Islamic call to prayer brings you back to reality. However, no one is rushing to noon prayer. Taxi drivers are not concerned with reading Quran while waiting in traffic. Mosques seem to be tourist sights rather than places of worship and prayer.

All of us experienced extreme culture shock going form Egypt to Turkey. Turkey really does feel very European, with women wearing less, more consumerism, and overall more western. We spent a lot of time touring around the city, visiting famous mosques and other sights. We heard from the AKP, Turkey's Justice and Development Party, American diplomats, and university students. It was fascinating to discuss the differences between Islam in Egypt and Turkey, too. Turkey is a highly secularized, nationalistic state...similar to the US. Many people say it is the only success story in merging democracy and Islam. A lot of people will also say that if other Middle Eastern countries could just adopt their model of democracy, it would fix everything. It's a nice idea, but its definitely not that simple...there are so many other aspects to consider--economic, religious, geographical, etc. If I have learned anything while on this program, it is to be way more cautious about deeming what would be good for a country's well-being without having a holistic understanding of it...

After Turkey we flew to Aleppo, Syria. Syria was incredible. We spent all of three days in Damascus, hanging out in the old city. We also went to an old crusader castle at the top of a hill in Aleppo. It was epic..jumping around the ruins, playing mancala in the carved stone, taking pictures, laughing. It was a much needed break! Oh, and we got to visit Ben and Amber and hear about their work with MCC. Up until then we had been hearing about so much political stuff, so this was also refreshing. Their focus on peace-making, building relationships, getting to know the community, learning Syrian Arabic, raising Aiden, etc. Was so great. I stayed with them a couple nights. I also went to a Syrian Orthodox church service with them, which was really neat. I miss them so much!! But I'm going to Damascus again for Christmas, and mom is coming too!

After Syria we drove to Jordan. We only spent a couple days there, more for a transition to Israel. One of the days we went to the Dead Sea and floated floated floated!! We rubbed the dead sea mud all over our bodies..you know the stuff they bottle up and sell for hundreds of dollars! It was great.

After Jordan we drove to Israel and were there for a total of two weeks. This was by far the most intense part of travel component. It was a mixture of seeing Biblical sights, learning about the Arab/Israeli conflict, hanging out with Palestinians and Israelis (on separate occasions), visiting the "wall," hearing from politicians, church leaders, and students, and lots of reading reading reading. Overall I have come out of Israel with my head spinning, confused and angered at the the things I have seen and learned about. As an outsider it is so easy to gloss over a situation, offering solutions without knowing the full story. I knew a bit of the Palestinian experience before coming to the Middle East, but I have been blown away at the complexities within the situation. The people there working for solutions are knee-deep in the muck of remembered past violence, political warfare, religious ideologies, ethnic and cultural identity differences, land-grabbing, growing Israeli settlements and breaking international law, governmental corruption, refugees, the question of the "God-given land (Judea and Samaria, or modern day West Bank)," US pressure, the situation in Gaza, disenfranchisement of both Palestinians and Israelis, Christian Zionism from the US pushing their pro-Israli agendas, the diminishing Christian Palestinian population, deep fear of the "other," foreign involvement, Holocaust guilt, violation of human rights, and the list goes on and on and on...

One afternoon we got to hang out with a group of Palestinian students, and they took a group of us down to the wall. It was shocking to see how big it actually was, cutting through their community in Bethlehem. The psychological affects of the wall run deep...literally separating the two groups, causing more unknowns and less chance for reconciliation on the ground. This has potential to get controversial and heated real fast, but I will say that the human experience there is one of constant fear...they are literally living in a war-zone, and I cannot begin to imagine how I would respond if I were in their shoes. Can you?

Now for a little transition...here are a couple journal entries from Turkey and Israel, when I had time to actually journal!

10.31.08 -- Istanbul

We are in Istanbul. This city is phenom! Very pedestrian-friendly...Black sea, parks, fall crisp air...really nice break from Cairo. It's been good with the students. Last night had a lot of fun with the girls. Took pics, ran around the park, sipped tea and munched on hot bread in the bazaar. Laughed, shared stories and dreams for the future. Tara looks forward to finding the person she will spend her life with. Chels looks forward to falling in love. Esther looks forward to settling into a place...doing life outside of a "program." I echo her sentiment. However, I know when I'm out of college I will miss the programs and communities. The prospect of LA is an exciting one, for sure...

Oops! We're going out! Gotta go...

11.14.08 -- Ankara

Funny how lonely one can feel, even when surrounded by 30 people with the same passions and interests as you. We intentionally isolate ourselves, and in turn, feel sad that we aren't laughing with the group, or that we are sitting at the front of the bus. Ha! For once I am one of those kids...and it is good for me to experience, I think. When people can't fill the voids in our souls, who or what do we turn to? The Bible? Prayer? Books? Poetry? Exercise? Food? Funny movies? Shopping? I can tell there are people in the group who are having a hard time socially. I'm one of them sometimes. I just don't really feel like trying. It is a really good feeling when I can be joyful and happy as myself and not try to please people.

11.15.08 -- Ankara

Too much starbucks tonight. Ran around the room, dancing to hip-hop, sprints, sit-ups. felt good to sweat! Talked with D, kelly and Leah. Was SO good for my soul. It was a booster. So stoked to see them again, yet ready to re-engage MESP...

11.16.08 -- Jerusalem, Austrian Hospice

A great poem by Kahlil Gibran on love

when love beckons to you, follow him. though his ways are hard and steep, and when his wings enfold you, yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. and when he speaks to you, believe in him, though his voice may shatter your drams as the north wind lays waste the garden...

for even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth...

[end poem]

Well, thats it for now folks. I have 14 more days of MESP, and then I'm hanging out with my family in Cairo for five days...then off to Damascus for Christmas!! It's weird to think about coming back home; I've made some incredible friends here and have really been enjoying it lately. But it will be right when the time comes :)

so, it's been a while!

2008-09-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hey friends out there,

It has been far too long since my last blog. Please accept my deepest apologies. To say this past month has been busy would be an understatement!

This semester really has been a whirlwind. Arabic, Islam, high profile speakers, weekend travel, roommate craziness, service project, etc etc etc.

Today:

6:30am-Wake up

7:30-Community Breakfast

8:15-Devotionals on the roof

9:00-Arabic Class

10:45-To director's flat to hear from speakers

1:00-Lunch

2:00-Study Arabic, read, work on paper

8:00-Learn Dabka, a traditional Palestinian dance

Tomorrow is the last day of Ramadan! A few weeks ago myself and the intern decided to fast, and then attend Iftar with Muslims at a mosque nearby in the evening. We arrived and were handed a box of food: chicken, rice, bemya (okra and tomato sauce), aiysh (bread), and torshie (pickled veggies). We walked across the busy street to a long patch of grass. We were summoned by a group of middle-aged Muslim women. There were groups of Muslims covering the entire stretch of grass, simply enjoying a meal from the local mosque before heading home. It was a really 'communal' experience! We all shared our food with each other and attempted conversation in broken Arabic. As soon as a few Egyptian men approached and started asking Andrea why she was still unmarried at age 24 (and weren't shy about marriage offers), we decided to leave :)

Tomorrow I'm going to Sisters of Charity in Moquattem for my service project. I usually help wash clothes at the beginning, and then play with the toddlers and babies in the afternoon. I'm loving it!!!

This past weekend we met with Coptic Christian Egyptian youth. They came to Agouza and we had a phenomenal time. We talked about the fundamental differences between Western Evangelical Christianity and Eastern Coptic Christianity. I am really starting to appreciate tradition. The Copts have such rich, historical roots and to see folks my age fired up about their own traditions was refreshing! Lately I have been on such middle ground, grappling with issues of salvation, social injustice, Christianity, vocation, truth, dilemmas of faith, and where I fit into all of this! Universalism? Inclusivisim? Pluralism? Does it even matter?? What does it mean to be a product of post-modern influence? How does being a "child of empire" influence my worldview? How can I be open-minded without keeping my mind "open at both ends?"

A recent entry from my journal:

Seek first to understand, then to be understood...

For so long I have adopted this phrase as my "live verse." But I must be careful in its execution. Before applying this admirable model in my life, I need to have a foundation. I need to know what I think about whatever it is we are discussing. I can't forget about the part where I "seek to be understood." It is when we are constantly talking over each other that we engage in unhealthy and unproductive dialogue. I would say to seek to be understood, in a sensitive and cautious way, is to have self respect. To think your opinion is invalid just because it may be unoriginal or already thought up is denying who you are and where you come from. In essence, it is unfair and downright offensive to the people involved in your life up until now: the people who have helped you along the way--helped you realize that it's not all about you.

[end]

So, I'm still grappling with these questions, and given our limited free time, I'm sure I'll deal with them LONG after MESP.

We leave for our travel component in about a month. Very excited. And I'm turning 22 at the end of this month!! Strange....

More to come, Inshallah!

Love to all :)

2008-08-31T12:51:00.000-07:00

hey kids,

indeed, i have made it to the big mango. right now i'm sitting at an cafe in agouza, picking up signal from the nearest mcdonald's...thanks golden arches!

my computer has little to no battery life...i'll do what i can to write quickly!

time in egypt so far has been relatively stress-free. mesp is a program highly committed to student well-being; they are good about easing students into egyptian culture. i have mixed feelings...as a group of 30 we take a tour bus around cairo, go to mosques, and participate in other activities in the city. i knew this going into mesp, and i am actually pleasantly surprised at some of the other student's cultural awareness and previous travel experiences. i try to ignore complaints and offensive comments toward egyptian culture and highlight other student's excitement and open-mindedness.

i am also learning new things. we went to the khan-el-lili (an extremely touristy spot with hookah and souvenirs). the director of the program offered a mini-detour to a few students...i took him up on his offer. after a round of turkish coffee and hookah we walked through a narrow alley with vendors every couple of feet. we made it through the chaos and came up to an extremely elegant, historical mosque. we snuck upstairs to the roof that overlooked cairo. for just a moment we were able to experience peace in the midst of the chaos. we glanced down the edge of the roof and there was a massive courtyard below, not at all looking like it belonged there. our little excursion was a beautiful escape from the greedy, chaotic tourism below.

one of the girls' foot got run over by a taxi the other day...the driving here is insane and the pollution is (says the director) comparable, if not worse than Beijing.

i don't have a regular schedule yet; we are still in orientation week. like i said, the program is introducing us to egyptian culture very very gently. the first couple days our cooks made us american meals: burgers and spaghetti. lately we have had more egyptian food: fried fish, macaroona, etc...

my computer is about to die now. i'll finish up. tomorrow we are going to "garbage city," one of the more poverty-stricken places in cairo. we start arabic class later this week. I CANT WAIT!!!!!!! i'll visit my family next weekend most likely. i was able to see ben and amber, was really nice. i'll see them again for a meal on thursday.

all in all, things are great. its good to be back :)

Pre-departure jitters...

2008-08-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

yes, my friends, i have created a blog. it was at the sole advice of two females who mean a lot to me: leah butts and kelly worcester. i admit, it took some convincing...i'm not too into the blogging thing. but, i do know it will be a ncie outlet for updates and a venting session or two :)

i'm sitting in my dad's apartment in alhambra, ca, finishing up packing for my trip to egypt. i'll be there for about five months: four months on a study abroad program (middle east studies program), and about a month traveling afterward. you could say i'm experiencing all the standard pre-trip emotions: anxious, excited, numb...

my dad is taking me to the airport in four hours. i have most of my stuff ready to go, just need to take care of last minute logistics.

i'm most excited about learning arabic!! and, we travel as a group to syria, jordan, israel and turkey. it will be hard for me to be travel in a large group of students (30), but i hope to keep patient and open-minded. also, our director emailed the group and warned about groups who have done MESP during the U.S. presidential elections in the past...he says it nearly destroyed community! i'm sure there will be a variety of opinions; i'm eager to see group dynamics unfold.

great news! i found out my brother and his wife and son will be on the same flight as me from frankfurt to cairo! (fyi: they met during MESP, and since have lived and worked in the middle east). i'm really really pumped about this.

alright, thats about it for now. gotta get to more packing/attempting to keep my sanity!